WELCOME TO OUR 30'S

FIRST BLOG EVER!

Well, this is my very first blog.  So where do I start?  Why do I want to write & share a blog?  Well, I think there are many other women out there in their early 30's (or 20's) who are trying to be responsible with their future, but trying to figure out what that entails or what future that leads to. Some people can probably relate to me, I followed the rules and did what I was told to be successful during adolescence and there was a clear path that I was to follow up through senior year of high school.  Each year was defined, with very little decisions to make.  Maybe the most stressful were what classes to take the following year, and if there was a way to match up study periods with your closest crew or meet up with friends during the few minutes before the next class.  Even the last couple years of high school were about getting into college, applying, taking the SATs, etc.  Everything was defined. 

So I had to decide what college I was going to and how that related to all the friends around me.  However, even that didn't seem so difficult because it was expected that everyone would graduate high school and disperse to different colleges.  So it was still an expected path.  College started some struggles for me because the lines were not as well-defined as far as what classes a well-disciplined student should be taking.  There were more options and with each major that was offered, there were many more career paths that could be explored.  I was not taught how to explore exactly.  Where was the class or the rules for this?  My parents didn't get a formal college education so there were no guidelines from them.  Besides, most moms I knew at this point were all stay-at-home moms who didn't have careers unless they had gone through a divorce and were 'forced' to work.  I have 7 other siblings, but only 1 brother who pursued college after high school and he was in his senior year when I started.  (Note: I've had other siblings pursue additional education in later years, but not in the typical directly after high school pattern)  He was in the science field which didn't appeal to me.  Other friends from high school were at different schools, just as confused or had a better idea of what they should do based on their parents' backgrounds.  This wasn't the case for me, which is why freshman year of college I was a sociology major which turned into a business major by sophmore year. 

I still didn't know what I was going to do with business, but at least the business aspect applied more of my educational structure that I was used to.  I love the idea behind sociology but it didn't have the clear right/wrong answers that I was used to.  Answers were much more subjective.  It confused me to be in that arena so I quickly went to something that seemed more familiar or at least had more structure.  So I graduated with a business degree with an emphasis in finance and found a job a couple months before graduation.  It was in the investment industry and was new and exciting.  I kept very busy in my early 20's trying to make a career for myself & prove that I belonged in the business world.  I wanted everyone to see how eager I was & how much I could do.  I progressed in all areas of my life, by marrying my boyfriend of 5 years, buying a house, getting promotions throughout the company and getting pregnant by the end of the 20's.  It was a very busy time and I didn't realize how much all of that would change my life for my 30's. 

Now I have 3 kids and we are so happy with all of them.  However, I'm no longer with the investment company I started with, and the economy has affected us just as much as millions of others.  I'm not complaining, but it's the realization of life that maybe I did so much in my 20's but didn't really look far enough ahead to realize that some of my decisions were not quite as well-planned as they seemed at the time.  I loved the work I was doing & found it fascinating but now that I'm an hour away from the hub of this industry, it's hard to decide where my next big step is.  I have to think about the 3 kids I have 4 years and younger that working so far away doesn't fit into the busy work/mom lifestyle I've created.  But during this time, we were careless with the money we made & although I was aware of what we were spending, we didn't prepare for any misfortune.  Therefore, when I got laid-off my job in 2008 after the stock market dropped drastically, I was concerned. 

My husband assured me we would be fine, but that didn't stop our spending habits.  We started accumulating debt over the last couple years and this is where we are at now.  It's also taken quite a toll on my marriage in the last couple years since in addition to my personal career misfortune, my husband took over the business he was working at for a number of years.  Our finances now have created quite the tension between us but we both have blame.  We love each other & we love our kids, but when trouble comes that is avoidable, there tends to always be someone pointing a finger at the other stating how it should have been prevented.  In this case, we are both at fault.  Both my husband & I are both to blame.  At the height of this tension a couple months ago after an ugly argument that was displayed in front of our precious children that became the realization for me that this all must change and change now.

This is the new future.  From this point forward, I want to be held accountable for the money we are spending & where we are spending it.  I want to decide what my future will be and how that affects my children.  Kudos to others who seem to be unaffected by the current economy & able to enjoy all the pleasures of eating out, going to family events around town and buying their kids whatever latest craze is out.  We aren't in this position and I'm not mad about.  I'm being realistic about it and that means that those 'wants' are only 'wants.'  It is our time to realize 'needs' are the only things that need to be paid & start planning a better future.  There are so many fascets to someone's life, but for me this all points to personal growth and understanding that will spread to a happier, more fulfilled person.  In turn, if I can become the self-aware person within myself that I have always strived to be, then this will naturally carry on to my marriage and raising my children.  I suspect that I will find many answers to my career that I've been pondering as well.  Hope this helps others as much as I'm hoping it helps me!  Follow me on twitter